Craig to Rob(me), after Rob badly fails a critical Listen check: You do not hear the charging rhinoceros.
Rob: WHAM!!

Jiriki (Matt), the Knowledge/Item Creation mage: Along the way, I'll be using Fabricate to make... Wastehouses.
Michael: Pardon me, I have to use the Jiriki.

Rob: On my next attack action, I'd like to wet myself.
Chad: You can do that right now as a free action.
Rob, excited: I can wet myself as a free action!!

Arcas (Craig): I'd say you only live once, but I've got a friend who's a druid.

Craig, to Jordan (whose character routinely got drunk, and has been "gifted" with an intelligent sword): Congratulations, your sword has a hangover.

Jamie, Rob's girlfriend, having a bad day: I have a hard enough time naming pets, let alone deities...

Tom, playing a high charisma female character:  How come I keep meeting men like this..?

Jordan, after seeing the pic of Alexander (done by Alice's friend, Liz): Dude, she did... Oh my god... dude...

Jordan, doing some number crunching: What did he hit me for...?
Tom: 'Cuz he doesn't like you.

Jordan, ordering food in an exotic land: I munch the monkey.

Tom, making fun of Siona's Liger: "Ride the Liger!" ...and... "Pet my pussy."

Rob(me), trying to figure out where the Nimblewright that's currently attacking the party is: ...Now, where's my guy?
Tom, noting the Nimblewright's ill fortune at being surrounded: He's in the middle of a "fuck-me" sandwich!

Rob and Craig, talking online about Spell Thematics---
Craig: I think a great idea for a mage would be a guy with spell thematics: meat. I cast meatball! Wall of meat! Meat missile! Meat armor! Cone of meat! And for the very high lvl mage... meatier swarm!
Rob: Prestitenderization. <G>
Craig: I can stop that army! *casts rock to meat*
Rob: What? Our forces are starving? *casts rock to meat again* ...of course, this incites similar copycat mages.... *casts wall of celery*
Craig: *casts cheese storm* ....Of course, the celery mage can summon invisible stalkers. ;>

Shadowrun

Alice, as GM, preparing secretive pre-session material as players talk randomly amongst themselves: What do Snake Shamans do, again...?

Rob: How many things on Dunk's will are magical?
GM: Dude, a shitload.
Nick: A metric shitload!

Living Greyhawk

Vlad (Josh), the dwarven warrior, about Arden's (Betsy) "frog" (a rock): I'll break yer frog in the night!
Arden: I'll cast Magic Stone on him and through him at you!
Vlad: Not if you don't have it!

Rhun (Tom), to Vlad, who is convinced he and his party will soon die: Could you BE more nihilistic?!
Tom, in place of Vlad: Aye, if I knew what it meant!!

After finding a Paladin, handless after a fight--
Tom: ...So he can cast Lay On Hand?
Betsy, in jest: Can I cast Mending on him?

Portia (Alice): We're like, trying to get information outta this guy, and you're all like, "ooh, ooh, you're wrong, ooh, ooh, morality..."

Michael, to Stacy: You have no jimmy to kick, so you're safe for *now*... Someone get that woman a jimmy.
Rob: I'm on it.

Living City

Craig, after Michael had slapped him with a Cert: You just whopped me with my own Spectral Glove!

Michael, grabbing Rob's ruby-like gem d20: Suddenly, a gigantic red pitcher crashes through the wall, and says, "Oh yeah!!"

Other Random Quotes

Alice's Mom: I've got his and hers PEZ dispensers.
Alice (facepaw), to Craig: Do you want Tigger or Pooh?
Craig (facepaw): I'll take Tigger...

Craig, playing Street Fighter 2 Turbo as Dhalsim: Ahhh, accidental flamage!
Rob: Ah, crap, I'm gay! No, no I'm not...

Alice, to Iggy (her cat): RRRRRAAAAAAAAWWWWWRRRRR!!!!
Iggy, to Alice: mew.

Rob, talking about bongs: The Taj Mahal would make a great bong!

Johnny Bravo: So, I, uh, beat up your dad. Wanna go out?

Jordan, after pulling Tom's Inner Tube: I'm Tom's Chinese guy!

Jamie, feeling thirsty: I'm gonna burgle a swig.
Rob: Swig Burglar!

Setup: At my June '02 (the biggest so far) LAN party, we all fairly exclusively were playing Jedi Outcast.  Mike, who (with Craig and/or Alice's help) had decided that "Vidal Sassoon" would make a great Jedi name, is the local master of our group when it comes to first person shooters, and was therefore kicking ass.
Jordan:  I just got my ass kicked by a shampoo bottle!!!

Setup: Steven Kober (The Daily Show) is interviewing a political analyst, and talking about the NRA versus proponents of gun control, and trying to gain political support from both sides.
Political Analyst, exasperated: There IS no middle ground!!
Steven Kober: Why can't the middle ground be my bank account?

Classic Quotes from MlitiaGrrl

Unknown: Quick, shoot him in the head while he's rolling initiative!! (D&D)

The Llama (Tom's very experienced Special Ops character): If we were in a prison in Bangladesh, we'd all be chanting "fish" in Taiwanese. (Shadowrun)

Michael: What happens if you Dikote a Mack Truck? (Shadowrun)

Setup: We were exploring a cave, and found a vertical passage not very wide.  Shouting the adventurer's credo, "It might be dangerous; send the Rogue!" I climb down the chasm on a rope.  Suddenly, a gigantic tentacle wraps itself around my legs, and Tom's pyro mage instantly reacts by fireballing the place.  However, as the place that aforementioned tentacled creature lived in was a refuse dump, FOOM.... (At this point, I'm still hanging from the rope)
Rob(me) (with extreme sarcasm): Well, I'm ok with being naked, hairless, and near death.  It's the rope I'm worried about. (D&D)

After Matt describes a construct he created... Jason: Wow, you made that??
Matt, matter-of-factly: Yes.
Jason: What level are you in that campaign?
Matt, grinning: I'm the gamemaster.